Warhammer Lizardmen Timeline: A Slann’s Perspective 🐉 Was It Always This Wet in the Jungle?，Dive into the ancient history of Warhammer’s Lizardmen. From primordial swamps to cosmic battles, uncover their secrets and laugh at how they still hate rain. 🌿💧
1. The Dawn Age: When Dinosaurs Ruled (and So Did We!) 🕷️🦖
In the beginning, there were only two things on Earth: water and Lizardmen. Okay, not *just* Lizardmen—but definitely our ancestors!
The Old Ones arrived like intergalactic DJs spinning cosmic tunes, shaping worlds with magic. They created us as their "chosen stewards." Sounds fancy, right? But honestly, it was just about keeping jungles lush and dinosaurs chill. No complaints here—except maybe the humidity. ☀️🌧️
Fun fact: The first Slann woke up one day saying, “I think I’ll sculpt some crocodiles today.” And voilà! Instant ecosystem. 🦎✨
2. Catastrophic Decline: Oops, We Broke the Planet 🔥💥
Fast forward a few million years, and what happened? Chaos gods threw an epic tantrum, breaking everything. Think of them as toddlers who didn’t get dessert—they wrecked the galaxy.
Our beloved cities drowned under rising oceans while Chaos marauders burned forests. Not cool, guys. Literally NOT COOL. 🌋🌊
But hey, we adapted. After all, if you can survive being eaten by a T-Rex once, you can handle anything. Right? 😉
3. Modern Times: Still Kicking Butt, Just With Better Weapons ⚔️🪖
Today, the Lizardmen are back stronger than ever. Sure, we’ve got new enemies—Skaven, Tomb Kings, and even Orks—but we also have better spears and cooler temples.
And let’s talk strategy for a sec: Why send infantry when you can unleash Stegadons? Because duh, dinosaurs win every time. 🦕🔥
Pro tip: If you’re fighting Lizardmen, avoid rivers. Seriously. You won’t last five minutes against Saurus Warriors swimming circles around you. 🐊💦
The Future: Will the Lizardmen Dominate Again? 🌌✨
With the return of the Great Uncasing, the Slann are ready to reclaim their place among the stars. Whether that means rebuilding Old Ones’ artifacts or simply flooding everyone else out, remains to be seen.
One thing’s certain: If you mess with the jungle, you mess with the wrong reptiles. And no amount of Chaos fireballs will stop us. 🔥..
Prediction alert: By 2050, someone will cosplay as a Skink Priest at Comic-Con. Mark my words. 😎
🚨 Call to Action! 🚨
Step 1: Pick your favorite Lizardman unit (Stegadon? Cold One Rider?).
Step 2: Share why they’re the ultimate jungle warriors on Twitter using #LizardmenPower.
Step 3: Tag @GamesWorkshop because they need to know how much we love these scaly legends. 🦖
Drop a 🌱 if you agree that Lizardmen are the OG eco-warriors saving the world—one swamp at a time!